I wore this outfit yesterday to church for Easter services. I love the handkerchief hemline and wrap waist.
KP and I had a great day together. We saw the new Superman/Batman movie, I made a fancy dinner, and then we watched our favorite Sunday shows. Billions, Vinyl, and The Queen at 90. It was a nice stress-free and relaxing day. A nice change for us since we usually fight on holidays.
After 15 years, we still haven’t figured out how to divide time with both of our families. My family moved out of the area the year before we were married. Since then we have spent two Thanksgiving and one Christmas with my family and I have spent 2 holidays with my family alone. All the other holidays have all been spent with his family. That is 70 holidays (to date) with his family and 3 with mine and 2 by myself… not quite fair. It has caused a lot of tension over the years. But, the real heartbreaking moment for me was when my Grandmother asked me on her deathbed why we didn’t like spending holidays with her. I realized at that moment I had lost my history.
Growing up there were special foods we ate, games we played and we prayed over the meal. My husband’s family obviously has their own ways. Not better or worse just different. There is nothing familiar about holidays now. I feel like my history, culture and traditions have been removed with each holiday that passed. So over the last few years, I have stopped going to every holiday at his family’s house. A couple of times I have gone alone to my own family’s house, he sometimes goes alone to his and sometimes we do our own thing. Not because I don’t like his family, but because holidays are meaningless for me now. With no tradition or reason for the day…why bother?
We both agreed we do not like to spend holidays without the other. But, we also want to spend holidays with our own families… impossible to do geographically. So as a way to cause less tension and more happiness we made it a priority this year to make our own traditions. A mix of things we both like… church, movies, food, and time with our dogs. It has been nice and I look forward to sharing these new traditions with our kids.
If I could go back to my 18-year-old self I would teach her to stand her ground, hold on to her family traditions, and don’t be afraid to make a few new ones. Conforming to others’ wants and wishes will never make you happy.
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