Holiday Memories and Traditions

White Dress Carmel-by-the-Sea

Chanel in Carmel

Stuart Weitzman Minx wedges

 

I wore this outfit yesterday to church for Easter services.  I love the handkerchief hemline and wrap waist.

KP and I had a great day together.  We saw the new Superman/Batman movie, I made a fancy dinner, and then we watched our favorite Sunday shows.  Billions, Vinyl, and The Queen at 90.   It was a nice stress-free and relaxing day.  A nice change for us since we usually fight on holidays.

After 15 years, we still haven’t figured out how to divide time with both of our families.  My family moved out of the area the year before we were married.  Since then we have spent two Thanksgiving and one Christmas with my family and I have spent 2 holidays with my family alone.   All the other holidays have all been spent with his family.  That is 70 holidays (to date) with his family and 3 with mine and 2 by myself… not quite fair.  It has caused a lot of tension over the years.  But, the real heartbreaking moment for me was when my Grandmother asked me on her deathbed why we didn’t like spending holidays with her.   I realized at that moment I had lost my history.

  Growing up there were special foods we ate, games we played and we prayed over the meal.  My husband’s family obviously has their own ways.  Not better or worse just different.  There is nothing familiar about holidays now.  I feel like my history, culture and traditions have been removed with each holiday that passed.  So over the last few years, I have stopped going to every holiday at his family’s house.  A couple of times I have gone alone to my own family’s house, he sometimes goes alone to his and sometimes we do our own thing.  Not because I don’t like his family, but because holidays are meaningless for me now.  With no tradition or reason for the day…why bother?

We both agreed we do not like to spend holidays without the other.  But, we also want to spend holidays with our own families… impossible to do geographically.  So as a way to cause less tension and more happiness we made it a priority this year to make our own traditions.  A mix of things we both like… church, movies, food, and time with our dogs.  It has been nice and I look forward to sharing these new traditions with our kids.

If I could go back to my 18-year-old self I would teach her to stand her ground, hold on to her family traditions, and don’t be afraid to make a few new ones.   Conforming to others’ wants and wishes will never make you happy.

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28 Comments

  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)
    March 28, 2016 / 4:32 pm

    Agreed! It’s so much easier when you do what you want instead of trying to do what they think you should be doing.

  2. March 28, 2016 / 6:26 pm

    i’m obsessed with this outfit! especially the purse 🙂

  3. March 29, 2016 / 1:23 am

    I love the hemline, the shoes, and the bag. They all look really chic and proper.

  4. March 29, 2016 / 7:54 am

    Sounds like you had a great Easter with a new tradition! Love the shoes 🙂

  5. March 29, 2016 / 7:58 am

    You know I wondered why the holidays were so blah for me – and you hit the nail on the head – no traditions. I was never invited to spend the holidays with my side and his side doesn’t invite us either. Unless my kids come there is nothing to do but sit around and be bored. The next holiday or special day maybe we will start to make our own tradition. Thanks for sharing!

  6. March 29, 2016 / 12:02 pm

    Oh that sure can be hard especially when you live far awa from them. I totally understand where you are coming from as my family lives in Texas and will soon be moving to California, only slightly closer, and my husband’s family lives here where we live, so of course we do more things with them. I’d love to change that at least every once in awhile.

  7. March 29, 2016 / 12:13 pm

    You look adorable and those shoes are out of this world! So amazing

  8. March 29, 2016 / 12:33 pm

    Sounds like you had an amazing Easter! I’m loving that outfit to 🙂

  9. Patricia
    March 29, 2016 / 3:46 pm

    Love that dress!! I think once you are an adult, you get to make your own traditions 🙂

  10. March 29, 2016 / 4:28 pm

    I love micro purses, it looks great on you!, i also struggle dividing time between families but somehow we still manage! =) never surrender keep up the good work!

  11. March 29, 2016 / 7:24 pm

    Great outfit! My favourite is the shoes ?

  12. Elizabeth O.
    March 29, 2016 / 7:58 pm

    I really like your outfit! It’s the perfect outfit for Easter. It’s good to be able to spend time with family but when you’re married all of these change, I’m sorry you had to sacrifice quite a lot of Holidays with your family. I’m glad you both agreed on starting new traditions together.

  13. victoria
    March 29, 2016 / 11:53 pm

    Ohh, I really love the bag and the shoes that is really amazing

  14. Lawrence Hamilton
    March 30, 2016 / 4:02 am

    Very nice outfit. Looks chic and is probably super comfortable as well. Sometimes you just have to do what you need to do. Preserving family legacies and traditions are important to most people, myself included!

  15. March 30, 2016 / 5:25 am

    Love the shoes and the bag. I am happy when I can do what I want not what others feel is best for me.

  16. March 30, 2016 / 9:15 am

    That’s sad that there can’t be some kind of compromise. Luckily because both our parents live close we usually share the days or we celebrate early with one and on the day with the other. We try to find time. I’m glad that you guys are coming up with your own traditions that’s important.
    Great outfit.

  17. March 30, 2016 / 10:50 am

    Love this post. Makes me really think of spring and being outdoors.

  18. March 30, 2016 / 12:36 pm

    I can feel your pain but I think it is never too late to start creating family traditions for your own family, the two of you, like it sounds you did this year. I hope you also can find a way to see your family more often, I am sure it is hard being so far from them.xx

  19. March 30, 2016 / 2:49 pm

    That’s awesome that you were able to work together to make the day a compromise. Your outfit and accessories were great!

  20. Rosey
    March 30, 2016 / 7:16 pm

    Splitting holidays def. can be difficult. We had a similar issue for years.

  21. March 30, 2016 / 7:30 pm

    I love those wedges and that top scene is fabulous. As to speaking to my 18 year old self I would say start investing now!

  22. March 31, 2016 / 1:17 am

    I like the white dress and wedges. Looks so neat and fresh. Perfect for any kind of weather.

  23. March 31, 2016 / 5:03 am

    love the whole ensemble especially the bag, this one is great for a day event.

  24. March 31, 2016 / 6:33 pm

    So true. Conforming doesn’t allow you to grown on your own and learn about yourself.

  25. Tonya C
    April 1, 2016 / 6:42 am

    LOVE, love, love that clutch! It’s so versatile and chic! You styled it well.

  26. April 2, 2016 / 11:53 pm

    Wow beautiful outfit. I love the shoes and the Purse ?.

    And nice to know that your holiday are so good and happy. Enjoy the life always :-).

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